Tuesday, November 04, 2014

Oct 27

Feeling sad and discouraged after meditating. I have been with my feelings and thoughts and worries. I have sat with them, accepted them, breathed with them and into them and sat with each breath – each moment. I am left with grief. I am not feeling refreshed or renewed but weary.

Then the secondary arrows—guilt over my self pity and despair. Forgive me Lord—you have given me so much and my burdens are not as heavy as others. The feeling of wanting to run away and that my life should not be like this right now... Being torn between letting go of my kids and picking them up and all the holding of breath in between. Breathing and acknowledging all this.

Need to face the day.

Like Eamonn's experience last week. My meditation has been my unpleasant event.

A reminder that meditation is not an escape and neither is offering it to God. 'Climb every mountain' comes to mind.

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