October 24, 2014

I came home last night from work very tired. The day ended with answering tricky emails and problems that I currently can not solve. It all seems to get very complicated and I think I am missing something. Life must be more simple then this. 

So I came home very late to a very busy household and instantly was disappointed no one had started dinner. Disappointed again that at this point there would be no quiet dinner by the light of my Diwali candle. I was gently ushered off by my loving husband to do my mindfulness. He knew I was on a downward spiral. I was due to practice mindful movement but the room was messy and lights seemed glaring. This felt like more work.

So I turned off the lights (that way I couldn't see the untidiness). I lit my Diwali candle and it shined in the darkness. I remembered the card that had come with it that said 'Celebrate Life'. I did a moments meditation giving away my concerns from the day. Then I did my mindful movement.

It was still hard but somehow the candlelit space that had been carved out made it possible and then I rejoined the full house rather then feeling a need to challenge it. For now I think my practice requires a carved out physical space. I can imagine that eventually that won't be the case. I suspect 'the space' is really within me. But for now having it outside helps me be with the inside.