My Heros

Two stories define my past week.

My 11 year old daughter started at a new secondary school last Monday. Her first day was great as she came home full of adrenalin and excitement. By dinner time the adrenalin was wearing off and she went off to bed early. Next day she awoke with a fever and vomiting. She went on to miss the next two more days in her new school. As classmates made new friends and found their way around the school and met new teachers, she laid in her bed. She tried going back on Friday where she vomited in class by mid day and came home. She sported a high temperature over the weekend and had to stay home again on Monday.

Cara never lashed out at others over her predicament.
I did. I worried and fretted on her behalf.
She didn't wallow in self pity or concern herself with what she was missing out on during the week she was sick.
But I spoke with whispered anxiety to my husband and friends about how hard it was to miss the first week at a new school.
She was bored more than once but never complained even when going to bed for naps.
I admit I didn't mind the naps.
She was concerned about returning today only over the point that she never wanted to vomit in class again.
Who can blame her.
While I worried and fretted on her behalf she calmly faced what life had in store and patiently let herself heal. I guess you can say Cara is "laid back" (may she forever be) but her way of accepting what comes day to day without the baggage (worry, pity,guilt) or in spite of the baggage is heroic.

I am an oncology nurse and my second story is in remembrance of a long term patient who died this weekend on my shift. This young husband and father had been fighting cancer for well over 2 years. I watched him on various readmissions and could see his road was full of the intense disappointments at times. He never had a cross word--really-- though I would have expected more than a few as the treatments failed and options ran out. While in hospital he never withdrew into himself and always had a smile for nurse and fellow patients. This last admission he was matter of fact as he realized there would be no going home. I am sure he was afraid. Where do you get that kind of bravery to accept your immanent death. He didn't give up but reached that rare state of acceptance. He died peacefully and quietly after saying goodbye to his wife and children and having planned his own funeral. He is not my only patient that has died with such dignity.

I've been a mother and a nurse for over 15 years and am realizing what a privilege it is to be a part of peoples lives at defining moments. I see heros and they inspire me. My daughter and this patient's story is a tribute to the greatness in people. It is locked inside each of us and sometimes on rare occasions and at a defining moment in life it is unlocked.