At More Crossroads

I was approached at work to see if I was interested in entering a management post and it started me thinking.

In my 20's I would have beamed and accepted.

The army slogan "Be all that you can be ", the Star Wars "It is your destiny" and my professors' urges to "Reach your full potential " were still ringing in my ears. I did reach my full potential but in a different field. I had 5 children before I was 30. I kept dabbling in my career between pregnancies . I have no regrets. It was one of the happiest periods in my life.

Again in my 30's I would have felt a thrill to take on a management position and jumpstart my professional career.

I felt confident that I could take the lead. Instead my husband and I chose another adventure. We moved to London with our 5 children and started over in new workplaces and in a different cultural environment. Again a amazing time in our lives.

Now I am almost 40 faced with a chance to move "up" into management. I am hesitating.

I am not confident-perhaps because I am wiser. There is so much I learn, relearn and have to unlearn each day in my workplace. Technology changes, I forget procedures that I do not perform often, and I am used to doing things differently having been trained in a different culture and time.
Management issues are as complicated as trying to help 30 employees recognize and appreciate each others' differences. Bureacracy is insurmountable unless you are insanely patient. Management and their big picture mentality no longer appeal to me. I don't feel the urge to Change the World as I once did. Am I complacent? I can't change the NHS but I can improve the life of my patients for the 8 hours they are in my care. The little picture is where I find my job satisfaction.
I am 39 and would dread entering a management position . Do I have a responsibility to try and improve the bigger picture or is it enough to make my corner of the world a little better?